The Sane Asylum

Ok, so I haven’t written a blog post in a while, but I want to do my part in keeping this thing going. I think it’s a great idea, and I’m glad to be in the first class of edublogs users. Well, it’s been quite a year, folks, lemme tell ya. I can’t tell you how much I’ll miss honors English 11 and the hero journey. I don’t think I’ll have another class like it.

We’re all gonna be super cool seniors next year, ruling the school and such. One thing that I’m really sad about is the fact that I’m going to lose my current senior friends to the wild and crazy world of college. Half of my friends are seniors, and I don’t even want to think about school without them. But, I must press on and so must you.

I wish everyone an awesome summer, and I hope you believe me when I say that I’ll miss you all while we’re away from the hallowed halls of Brebeuf Jesuit.We’ve got one more year, guys. One more year to make new friends, one more year to forge new bonds, one more year to walk these halls, one more year at Brebeuf. Let’s make it count. Damn, this year went by fast.

Two-zero-one-zero we’re the class of one-zero! Yay, rah SENIORS!!!

Howdy doody everyone! Some of you may have been wondering where the heck I’ve been this past week (or you might not have noticed or just don’t care). Well, I’ll tell ya. I’ve been in a psyche ward. No, this is not a joke or a cry for attention. From sunday to friday I was in a psyche ward and I’m not ashamed to say it. It SUCKED! The rules were ridiculous, the food was lousy, the showers turned sharply from hot to cold every ten seconds, and the staff people were mean as hell. Despite all of this, though, I think I might miss the place a little bit. I miss the friends that I made there. I miss relaxation group and the gym. Me and some of the guys from the unit are gonna start a band. We’re calling it Psyche Ward and we’re gonna play hospitals for free. I don’t know how many people would want a heavy metal rock band to play at their hospital, but we’ll see.

I did miss school, though, and life on the outie. Everybody wish me good luck making up all the crap that I missed. *sarcasm* I’m going to have such fun catching up on school work *sarcasm*.

I got the results of my audition [after exactly three weeks (they said it would be one)]. I’M IN! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Basically, what I auditioned for was a competition for playwrights from all around the country. These playwrights have been in competition for god knows how long, and the finalists get to hold auditions and have their plays performed. I auditioned to perform in one of these plays that made it to the finals, and I made it! I will be playing Rose Mary in Wild Horses. Exciting. I play the lead character, a 13-year-old Native American girl living in the Los Angeles. Sweet.

 Here’s the playwright, Rhiana Yazzie.

The first reahearsal’s on March 15th. I know that we have intense rehearsals for one week and then we perform. I’ve never been in a show with so little time to rehearse. There’s no set and probably no costuming because the focus is supposed to be on the play itself. That’s what’s going to be judged. I’m so flattered that someone wanted me to perform in their play. Basically, they’re trusting me to help make their play look good. If I screw up, they might not win! AAAAAAAAAHH PRESSURE! Just kidding. I’m so excited, though. I can’t wait!

Okay, so I’m going to reflect on Kairos without giving too much away. The place where we had Kairos was walking distance from my Grandma’s house and even shorter walking distance from my aunt’s house which took away from the getaway factor of the retreat, but that’s so little in the grand scheme of things. I fell in love with that retreat. I’m still on a Kairos high and it feels so good! Everyone needs to go, so if you haven’t gone yet, GO! It’s such a mindblowing and enlightening experience. I will even be so bold as to say that it was the single best experience of my life. I learned so much about myself and other people. I opened up to others and they opened up to me. I BONDED!  *sigh* I miss it already. Kairos was like another community. No, Kairos was like another world, a world of love, peace, understanding. A world without judgement or fear or pettiness, at least not from where I was standing.

I learned that I have to stop blaming my past bad experiences and the people who caused them for my actions. I should spend more time with my brother and treat my boyfriend better. And lastly, I must realize that it’s okay to pray and not know who or what I’m praying to. I’m not a Christian, but I’ll be wearing my Kairos cross every single day. To all my K67 brothas and sistas: I love you guys, and I mean that. Kairos has been the best three days of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. You guys are the reason that Kairos was so great. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned all that I have. Take care, and I expect many hugs once we get back to school. Isn’t it gonna suck having to go back to “the real world?” *sigh* Oh, well. It was great while it lasted.

I wish you all the best in your life endeavors, and I want you all to remember: In the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes the rose.

REP IT UP FO’ G-FOH!!!! 

YouTube ObamaThis guy is hilarious. He looks and sounds so much like Barack Obama. Here’s a video of him spoofing Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” Enjoy.

I’m starting to get stressed this semester in a way that I never was last semester. I set the bar pretty high last semester with my grades (4.0128 gpa) and now I feel extremely pressured to match that success. The vast majority of the pressure comes from me. I get so scared and frustrated when I don’t understand something in class.

I used to be all chill and laid-back. When I didn’t understand something I would stay calm and find the answers for myself. Now it just makes me feel like I’m going to fail and that scares the crap out of me.

I got class honors last semester and everyone was so proud of me. Now I’m afraid I’ll let them down.

Something horrible has happened. Some idiot decided to remake the movie Fame and “update” it. Holy crap, that movie was perfect as it was. I saw a sneak peak on youtube about it. They’ve turned my favorite movie into High School Musical. I swear to god, it’s all campy and… modern looking. The early 80′s was the perfect time period for a movie like Fame. It was raw, it was real. With this new one I’m just waiting to see a bunch of people dancing on tables and singing about how they don’t want to stick to the status quo. That movie did not need updating. Don’t even call it Fame if you’re going to do that.

LEAVE FAME ALONE, DANGIT!

Guess what FREAKING time it is?! 3:20 a.m!!! So, yeah, I drank a mountain dew yesterday while my meds were still working (the Sprite machine is still broken) and now I can’t go to sleep. I’m sitting at the computer at freaking 3 in the morning writing a post. That’s ludacris! I’m not even tired. I’m afraid that I’m going to be tired during school. Actually, that probably won’t happen since my meds are a stimulant.

I’ve been freaking out about death on and off for over an hour now. As I sat in front of the space heater watching King of the Hill I had this enormous wave of fear wash over me. I really felt like I was going to die and I started sobbing. I started thinking about all of the things that I wouldn’t be able to do, all of the people I would be leaving behind. Also, I fear the afterlife like I’ve never feared anything before because I don’t know what happens. I was hyperventilating, crying like a baby, and letting my mind wander to places that I never want it to go to again.

That’s it. No more Mountain Dew for me.

Okay, I’m in the library during my break and I have nothing to do so I thought I’d explain the title of my blog. I’ve always had the belief that everyone on this entire planet needs therapy at least once in thir life. We all go through crap and get overwhelmed. Some might even say that we are “driven insane” from time to time.

As a people in general, though, we’re not insane. Unless you truly have a neurological disorder I don’t buy the insanity bit. We’re just a bunch of regular people living with stress, trauma, frustration, anger, et cetera. We’re all sane but we still seek asylum. A lot of people used to think I was crazy before I started my meds. I don’t think I was crazy. I think I was just eccentric. Yeah, I have ADHD, but that doesn’t make me crazy. I guess it really depends on your definition of “crazy” and “insanity.”

Plus, the title makes me feel all hardcore and whatnot.

Okay, big idea #1… a documentary! Basically, I want to follow about five or six people around with my camera, ask them questions like “What are your regrets?” or “What would be your utopia?” and pretty much let the audience get to know them through a camera. You might be wondering why I’m doing this. What’s the purpose? Well, there are a few reasons:

1) I need to do something creative; 2) I think it’d be cool to get inside people’s minds; 3) I want to use this video editing software that I got a free trial for.

Big idea #2: short film. I want to write, cast, and direct a short film so bad! It’ll be pretty low budget( I don’t even have an external microphone. The Flip Ultra doesn’t have a jack for it). I don’t want to do a lot of scenery changing, so the film will probably take place in one general area. *sigh* I just don’t know what to write about. I know I’m going to have an all teen cast just because it’s easier for me to get teens (particularly my reluctant friends) to do it. I’m just afraid of getting all Breakfast Club-y. Definitely need to stray away from that. Don’t get me wrong, I liked The Breakfast Club. I just don’t want to be a copy cat. I’ll post my projects on here as soon as they’re done. That way you can all bask in the filmy goodness.

shanti shanti and om fo shizzle.